Out to Eat
by Arcadia81
Summary: On a family outing, Clark learns he may be Superman but he is not immune from being embarrassed by his kid.


AN: Continues in my A/U where A Kent Christmas, A New Kingdom and Career Day takes place.

Out to Eat

"Table for ten," a proud father said.

The hostess, a young college student, looked up at the tall, handsome built man of 6'4 with muscles that were barely contained in his dark suit. Besides him was a tall, prim looking woman. She was a looker, even with glasses, long, black hair swept back in a long French braid and a long spring dress that hid any figure she has.

With them, was another woman; perhaps the prim looking woman's sister. They looked alike but the other woman dressed fashionably in a figure hugging dress and her dark hair bouncing in a sea of curls. With them, the hostess assume were the pair's children but that couldn't be possible. There was a young man about the father's height wearing a cap and gown. College graduations were happening today. The hostess couldn't believe he was the son of the man and woman before her. They looked too young to have a child graduating from college. With the college graduate, was a teenage girl just as tall as the prim woman. There were two other kids (a boy and girl) who were in their tweens and two young boys too young to be in school. Hearing the young children chatter, the hostess realized the other woman with them were the children's Aunt Donna. There was an elderly man with them. Perhaps he was grandfather of the children. The hostess wasn't sure but the kids didn't resemble the older man at all.

"Uh, yes. This way."

The hostess lead the family to two tables by the window. They didn't have tables that could seat ten people so the hostess improvised. The hostess pulled the chairs away from the two tables. Seeing what she was doing, the father and college grad pushed the tables together and rearranged the chairs around the tables for her.

"Thanks." Once the family was seated, the hostess passed out the menu and left the family to decide what they will eat.

"Congratulations Kai," Donna said. "Graduating at the top of your class. What's next? Grad school? Traveling?"

"I'm gonna travel over the summer and start my graduate studies in the fall," Kairos answered.

"Just because you are going to travel alone, it doesn't mean you engage in any heroics. Only do so unless absolutely necessary," Clark said to Kairos and to Bruce he said, "He is not to go on some special mission for you, Bruce. Kairos is to relax and have fun."

"And try not to have a girlfriend in each city like our godfather in his younger days," Lyta teased.

"Very funny," Bruce said dryly.

Donna took the subject off Bruce Wayne and onto her sister and brother-in-law. "Did you see the look on the hostess face?" Donna laughed. "She was checking you guys out."

"Yes. A lot of parents looked at us that way," Diana said. "It's not our fault we age slowly and we don't look like parents of a college graduate."

"Age slowly?" Bruce chuckled. "Since when? You two look the same as when I met you all those years ago."

Three-year-old Christopher, the newest addition of the Kent family, squirmed in his seat. The little boy had to go to the bathroom ever since the end of his big brother Kairos college graduation. He tried to hold it in while they were in the restaurant because he didn't want to go in a place he had never been before but he couldn't hold it anymore.

Christopher tugged his father's arm. His father looked down at him. "Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Restroom," Clark corrected his son. "When we are outside the home, it's restroom." Clark patted his son's head. "Okay. Let's go." He looked to his five year old son, Bruce, named after his godfather who he was sitting next to. "Bruce, do you have to go to the restroom?"

Elder Bruce raised an eyebrow. "You better not be talking to me, Kent."

Clark's lips twitched. "No, I meant my son and your namesake."

Young Bruce shook his head. "I went before we left home."

"Okay." Clark and Christopher rose from their seats. Taking his son's hand, Clark walked him to the restroom.

The restroom was crowded with men in the stalls and at the urinals. Christopher rarely went out in public. He was still working on controlling his strength and keeping quiet on who his parents were. It was a lot for the three-year-old to handle. He didn't understand how his older siblings were able to keep a big secret.

Clark lead his son to a urinal. Christopher looked up at his father confused. He didn't know what this was used for. He was used to the large bowl with water in it in his bathroom at his home. Not this weird looking thing that smelled and didn't have water in it.

Clark understood his son's confusion. "You can go here, too. Want me to show you how?"

Christopher shook his head. "There're too many people here."

Clark saw a man leaving a stall. "Okay. We'll go here." Clark lead his son inside a stall and closed the door. "Better?"

Christopher looked at the toilet bowl and then at his father. "It doesn't look like the one at home," Christopher complained.

Clark chuckled. For one, the toilet at their home was cleaner. "No, but it works just the same. Here. I'll show you." Clark unzipped his pants.

Christopher always thought his father was a big man. Christopher could barely reach his father's kneecaps. He was so tall and Christopher always had to look up to him. It kind of hurt his neck sometimes when he did so. His father was also strong, too. He saw his Daddy lift lots of heavy objects like cars and tanks on TV. He was certain his Daddy was the strongest man in the world. Now Christopher was learning something else about his father. Christopher's eyes widen in shock when he saw his father unzipped his pants and pull out his penis. "Daddy," Christopher gasped, "you have the biggest penis in the world!"

Clark stiffened before he broke out into a smile. "Uh, yeah." He could hear the men outside the stall chuckling. Sure it was cute his son made that comment. He was an innocent three year old. He thought anything bigger than him was huge. But Clark also found it a little embarrassing.

At the table, Kairos started laughing. It wasn't like him to eavesdrop. Like his father, he could hear several conversations going on at once and could zone them out but sometimes he would hear things he couldn't ignore. Kairos was laughing so hard, tears sprang from his eyes. It caused his family to look at him as if he was crazy.

"What's so funny, Kai?" Diana asked her eldest son.

Kairos struggled to get his laughing under control. "You won't believe what Chris just said to Dad."

"Tell us," Donna said. She didn't want to be left out of the fun. "Don't keep us in suspense."

"There are children at the table," Kairos said as a warning to what he heard.

Lyta grinned mischievous. "Oh, no. You are _not_ keeping this to yourself. Say it in Themysciran."

"You can't do that," Jon protested. "Lara and I won't understand it."

"Not you since you haven't paid enough attention in your lessons," Lara said smugly. "But I will know."

Kairos chucked, "I don't think so, Lara. This isn't a word you have learned in Themysciran."

"I wanna know," Five-year-old Bruce said. He didn't want to be left out.

Diana crossed her arms doubtful what Christopher said was as funny as Kairos was making it. "Just what is it my son said to his father, Kai?"

Kairos answered in Themysciran. Lyta put her hands over her mouth in shock. Donna burst out laughing while Diana's cheeks turned red.

"Daddy has the biggest pants?" Lara said confused. "I don't get it."

Bruce Wayne nearly choked on his water as he figured out what his godson said to his father.

"Well, Diana?" Donna teased her sister. "Is it true?"

Diana didn't answer as she swallowed her glass of water and signaled the waitress for another.

"No wonder you have so many kids," Donna teased. "Are you sure you're not pregnant now?"

Now completely red in the face, Diana slammed her glass down breaking it. "No, I am not!"

At that moment, Clark and Christopher returned. Clark took one look at everyone at the table and realized they knew what transpired in the restroom. Christopher climbed into his seat not at all embarrassed with what he said while Clark slipped in his seat by Diana feeling on the spot. He could hear the chuckling around the room as the men from the restroom tell their wives and girlfriends what they heard. He could hear a male staff member telling his workers in the kitchen what he heard. He knew they were being looked at now and could hear the words.

"He _is_ a big man with his height and muscles. I bet he is big down south."

"Look at all the kids at the table. Oh, he's big all right and his wife is one lucky woman."

"Damn lucky wife."

"Her lucky? What about him? His wife is hot!"

"Look how prim she looks. I bet if she takes off her glasses, lets her hair down, she would be hot in the sack. Damn lucky man indeed."

"I bet if he is big, his son has to be big, too. I wonder if I can get his number."

"Kal?" Diana pulled his attention back. "What's the matter?"

Clark hid his face behind the menu. "Let's order, eat and get out of here as soon as possible."

As far as Clark was concerned, they weren't coming back here anytime soon!

Later that evening, Clark sat in bed reading. Diana stepped out of the bathroom, having just finished her nightly shower. She removed her robe and slipped into bed with her husband. She laid her head against his arm. Clark started chuckling. "What's so funny?"

"I was thinking about what Chris said earlier."

"Oh, that." Diana closed her eyes as she tried to sleep. "Well, Chris is three. He doesn't understand. Everything bigger than him is huge."

"Maybe." Clark closed his book and tossed it aside. "So, Diana, your son said I have the biggest penis in the world. Wanna see?"

Diana chuckled. "Why? Has it gotten bigger since the last time I saw it?"

"I'll let you be the judge." He pulled off the covers, revealing to Diana he wasn't wearing any underwear under the sheets. "Well?"

"Hmm?" Diana said giving Clark's penis a closer inspection. "It looks big." She gave it a caress with her strong hand. "Well, would you look at that? It grew." She caressed it again. "It's getting thicker, too." She gave it another caress. "Look. It's growing again."

"I suggest we do something about it," Clark suggested. "If it gets too big, it could be trouble."

"And we wouldn't want that," Diana said innocently as she caressed it with more vigor. "That would be a bad thing. As defender of this planet, I will do what I must to take care of it."

"Even if you get pregnant again?" Clark asked.

Diana scoffed at the idea. "It's been three years, Kal. I think my body is done with having babies. Of course," she smirked. "It may not be my body. Maybe you don't have it anymore. Can you give it as good as you have in the past or are you getting too old?"

"If that isn't an invitation…" Clark pounced Diana and covered her lips with his.

Nine months later, Clark and Diana welcomed their daughter and seventh child, Lynda.


End file.
